Saffron Days in L.A. by Bhante Walpola Piyananda

Author:Bhante Walpola Piyananda
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Shambhala

ELEVEN

Fidelity and Faith

I have been a spiritual adviser to the Southeast Asian Buddhist community in Los Angeles for the past two decades. Among the Asian communities, it has been my experience that the Laotians and the Cambodians have had the most difficult time adjusting to their new society. Unfortunately, most of the adults have a limited knowledge of the English language and oftentimes find it hard to obtain suitable employment. This is the common starting point for their problems.

Since I was closely associating with the Laotian and Cambodian people, it was natural that I eventually assumed the role of personal adviser and confidant to many of the individuals within these communities.

One day Sovi and his wife, Mimi, visited me at my temple. They were immigrants from Laos, and they had a personal problem to discuss. I invited them into my office for privacy.

Sovi, in an extremely angry manner, began ranting about his unfaithful wife. The couple had three children and they had been married for almost sixteen years. Mimi, however, had become dissatisfied with her husband and had gone out seeking greener pastures. She eventually began to neglect her household responsibilities as a wife and a mother. She began to go out every night and return home very late, always claiming a plausible excuse. The children were beginning to dislike her and had lost respect for her, since they suspected she was being unfaithful to their father.

“Sovi, was she like this during the early years of your marriage?” I asked, trying to redirect the tone of the meeting.

“No Bhante, she was a devoted wife and a caring mother who attended to all the children’s needs. She was a responsible housewife and always awaited my arrival home from work with a cheerful smile. This past year she has totally changed her behavior, and her mother believes that she is possessed by an evil spirit.”

Mimi was silent, never even looking up while Sovi was speaking. I asked Mimi if she would like to talk with me in private since I could tell she wouldn’t speak in front of her angry husband. She told me she was willing, so I asked Sovi to wait in the Shrine Room while I talked to Mimi.

Mimi tearfully began telling me her side of the story. “My husband has become domineering, but my new boyfriend is kind, gentle, and understanding. I really love him. I want to move in with him, as I know he will take care of my needs.”

“Mimi, don’t you think that Sovi is a caring husband who loves your children?”

“Yes.”

“Is he an alcoholic or a gambler?”

“No.”

“Is he a womanizer?”

“No.”

“Is he faithful to you?”

“Yes, Bhante. I know he loves me very much. Sometimes his constant endearing remarks irritate me. I feel I need to have my space.”

“Mimi, has Sovi physically abused you?”

“Never, he has never touched me in anger.”

I continued questioning her. “Does he embarrass you in front of the children?”

“No, he never does that.”

“Does he have a problem with his in-laws?”

“No, Bhante, my parents adore him.

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